- Excessive self-evaluation: Feeling special and superior to others.
- Desire for admiration: Strongly seeking praise and approval from others and feeling dissatisfied when it is not met.
- Lack of empathy: Absence of empathy towards others' emotions and needs.
- Manipulative behavior: Tendency to use others to achieve personal goals.
- Self-centeredness: Ignoring others' emotions and needs, prioritizing one's own benefits and recognition.
- Grandiose fantasies: Having grandiose fantasies about success, power, beauty, and ideal love.
- Jealousy: Feeling jealous of others' success and happiness, and believing that others are jealous of oneself.
- Easily hurt and sensitive to rejection: Possessing a fragile self-esteem and being deeply hurt by even minor criticism or rejection.
"You have no charm! Just say 'yes, I understand!' Listen to me!"
Mr. Tanaka's angry voice echoed through the office, freezing the atmosphere instantly.
At that moment, my stomach started to churn. I never thought such a person could still exist.
People with NPD often care about others' evaluations, and due to their emotional outbursts and desire for control, they may shout or get angry in public.
Mr. Tanaka (alias) is a man in his 30s working at an advertising agency.
He always felt special and superior to others, believing his ideas were always perfect and never listening to others' opinions. As a result, his relationships with colleagues deteriorated over time.
One day, Mr. Tanaka was chosen as the team leader for a large project. However, he ignored the team members' opinions and forced his own way.
In Mr. Tanaka's case, his strong self-assertion made him temporarily seem competent, but his lack of actual skills led to the project's failure. His excessive self-evaluation and disregard for others' opinions caused problems. On the other hand, even individuals with NPD can improve their skills and become competent leaders by continually challenging themselves and making efforts to improve. The traits of NPD do not necessarily hinder growth; efforts to enhance self-awareness and empathy towards others are crucial.
In the early stages of the project, I objected to Mr. Tanaka's opinion.
"Why do you think I was chosen as the leader? Because they want to use my ideas! Listen to me!"
Mr. Tanaka got furious and yelled at me.
Shocked by this unreasonable behavior, I experienced stomach cramps. Other members also became intimidated and stopped speaking up, fearing they would be yelled at if they contradicted Mr. Tanaka.
Everyone hoped the project would end quickly as it progressed solely with Mr. Tanaka's ideas.
Moreover, Mr. Tanaka would steal others' ideas and claim them as his own. It was more important for him to be praised and recognized than to refrain from stealing ideas.
- Desire for admiration:
He stole others' ideas and claimed them as his own, prioritizing his evaluation and admiration. Using others' ideas to enhance his evaluation was more important. - Lack of empathy:
He lacked empathy for colleagues' opinions and feelings, and did not hesitate to use others for his own benefit and success. - Manipulative behavior:
Stealing others' ideas and using others for his benefit are typical manipulative behaviors of NPD. - Self-centeredness:
Mr. Tanaka ignored others' feelings and needs, prioritizing his benefits and evaluation.
As a result of forcing his own way, the project ended in failure, losing the client's trust.
When held accountable for the failure, Mr. Tanaka did not admit his mistakes and blamed the team members. This caused morale to drop, leading several members to resign.
I was one of them.
Mr. Tanaka's excessive self-evaluation and lack of empathy showed how much harm it could cause to the work environment. Ultimately, Mr. Tanaka also had to leave the company, leaving significant damage to workplace relationships and his career.
Through this experience, I realized the importance of my own health and mental well-being, and decided to prioritize myself in my next job.
