Psychological Mechanism: Why Do We Become Love Addicted?

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Always thinking about your boyfriend and unable to focus on anything else

Love addiction is commonly seen in individuals who grew up experiencing unstable expressions of affection. This condition is associated with individuals who have backgrounds of emotional neglect or abuse, making it difficult for them to establish stable loving relationships as adults. Such backgrounds often have negative impacts on adult interpersonal relationships, manifesting as love addiction.

Lack of Affection and Abuse in Childhood

Lack of affection and abuse can severely impact an individual's psychological development and become a cause of love addiction. Early psychological support and treatment are crucial to preventing such dependency.

Lack of Affection

If a child does not receive enough affection from parents or caregivers during their formative years, it becomes difficult for them to develop a sense of self-worth and security. This can lead to a strong tendency to seek excessive affection from others as adults, making them prone to love addiction.

Abuse

Individuals who have experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse may find it difficult to form healthy relationships due to trauma. Such individuals often have low self-esteem and seek excessive validation from others, making them more susceptible to love addiction.

Psychological Mechanism

The lack of affection and abuse in childhood can lead to low self-esteem and the formation of insecure attachment styles, making individuals more likely to develop love addiction as adults.

Lack of a Safe Base

If a stable source of affection and support, known as a "safe base," is absent during childhood, individuals may try to fill this void by becoming overly dependent on others in adulthood.

Lack of Self-Esteem

When low self-esteem is formed due to lack of affection or abuse, individuals may excessively seek validation from their partners to affirm their own worth.

Anxious/Avoidant Attachment

Formation of insecure attachment styles can lead to excessive dependence on others and a strong fear of separation, increasing the risk of love addiction.

Feeling very down and unable to concentrate on anything else when there's no response from your boyfriend

Dopamine's Vicious Cycle in Love Addiction

Psychologists suggest that the vicious cycle of dopamine plays a role in love addiction. Dopamine is associated with feelings of reward and pleasure, and the temporary euphoria brought by love promotes the release of this chemical. As dependency deepens, the response to dopamine release decreases, leading to a greater need for expressions of love. This accelerates the vicious cycle of addiction.

Recovery involves resolving past trauma and nurturing healthy self-love. Counseling focuses on promoting self-acceptance and finding fulfillment in aspects of life other than romantic relationships.

Recovering from Love Addiction

Recovering from love addiction requires fundamentally rebuilding one's sense of self-worth. Seeking counseling with the help of professionals can help individuals understand the lack of affection in their past and change current behavioral patterns. This process includes improving self-awareness, developing techniques to manage emotions, and acquiring skills to build healthy relationships.

Reference Sites
Abused Children and Their Relationships as Adults
The Adult Impact of Childhood Abuse, Neglect, and Bullying

Related
What is Love Addiction?  ➤➤
How to Manage Feelings for a Loved One: Freeing Yourself from Anxiety  ➤➤
Balanced Love Learned from Love Addiction  ➤➤

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